For Once, This Is Me
by klcm
Summary: Garcia finally gives Morgan the real her


**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, just the plot bunny ;)**

**A/N: **_So this is entirely inspired by a photo that Kirsten Vangsness posted of herself on twitter in a pool... fully dressed. Weird inspiration I know but, hey, what the muses wants the muse gets =P _

_So I hope you all enjoy this little oneshot! _

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- For Once, This Is Me -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

Penelope stood at Derek's door, late at night, waiting to just feel his arms wrap around her body. Only twenty minutes earlier had she been sat at a restaurant listening to Kevin nitpick at her, deconstruct her life before her eyes, hear him tell her how she had changed, claim she was no longer Penelope.

She didn't talk like she normally did, act the same way she used to, dress the way she had when they first met. Penelope had been changing before his eyes and now Kevin had had enough and had invited her on a date to dump her.

Plan and simple.

A night out, that she was thought was going to allow her to tell Kevin some deciding factors actually turned into a night of Kevin telling her that she had destroyed the love that they had once shared with one another.

He had passed the blame and found a fault line in every aspect of her life. There was Derek; there was the time out for work she took; the working lunches; the long nights; the screwy work schedule; the team devotion; the lack of intimacy; the sudden changes in her.

Penelope hadn't thought she had changed at all. She hadn't even noticed a change in herself and she still couldn't see a change in herself.

So she stood, outside of this big grand door, awaiting some sense of familiarity and kindness.

What she was met with was a pair of bright eyes, and then the voice that wrapped itself around her so tightly it remained enduring in her dreams. "Baby Girl?" Derek asked somewhat confused, he looked her down once and then looked back to her face, her drawn expression just staring at him. "Why are you here?"

Penelope smiled a little, "Just needed a little chocolate love." She said with a little shrug, "Know where I can get me some of that and stat?" She asked him and she felt herself falter, her morale sinking rapidly and she just broke down in front of him.

Derek had known the moment he had seen her that something wasn't right, but he hadn't expected a full blown breakdown to occur within seconds and that worried him. He didn't ask questions, he just took her in his arms and pulled her into the private of his house.

Sitting her down, he sat with her and pushed her away a little, hoping for an explanation.

"Kevin dumped me, and-" She hiccupped, "And-" She sucked in a deep breath. "He basically told me it was my fault that the love was gone."

"Oh Baby," Derek started sympathetically. "I'm sorry," He lied believably. Truth was this was the break up he had been waiting on for years now.

"I'm not," Penelope breathed, "I'm just gutted he dumped me first and then blamed me."

Derek didn't get much more out as Penelope spilt about how Kevin had blamed her lifestyle for destroying their relationship and then she went into detail how Kevin had slated her for changing.

"Well you have changed lately." Derek told her as he pushed a stray curl back. He had noticed a change in her more and more as they got closer.

However, before he could continue, to tell her how she had changed, how positive some of it was, Penelope had taken it somewhat wrong. He was going to tell her how the way she looked tonight wasn't normal Penelope. This was what Kevin wanted, not what Penelope wanted.

If there was one way Derek wanted Penelope it was how she wanted herself to be.

"I am so sick and tired of people telling me what I've become, what I should be. That's all I've ever gotten throughout my life." Penelope said and stood up then, stepping out away from Derek. "I thought it was just Kevin, I never expected you to want the same thing, Derek. I thought you would love me whatever."

"I do," Derek defended, "But this, that dress, that make up, that isn't you."

Penelope shook her head, "You know what? You're right. This isn't me. None of this is me." She then turned away from him then and went for his back door.

Derek did nothing but follow her, she was doing something and he knew that questioning it would only leave him more dumbfounded than he was now. Yet as he watched her he became a little bit more confused.

"Pen..." He asked as she stood on the first step to his swimming pool. "What are you doing?"

"Showing you the real me." Was the only answer he received.

Watching her, she took each step slowly and lowered herself into the cold pool, fully dressed, make up on, jewellery unmoved. He watched the deep emerald dress float out in the water as Penelope continued to get deeper and deeper. She carried on going until she was submerged to her shoulders and she turned to him, watched him for a moment before dunking under the surface.

Coming back up, her hair soaking, the water pouring down over her face, making worse the already running make up.

"This is me." Penelope stated, "This is me on the inside." She said putting her hands up in the air. "Penelope Garcia the mess! The undesirable, the unwanted, the wreck." She confessed to him and as her hands came down so did the tears again and she worked at removing both that and some of the make up with the back of her hand.

Derek didn't hesitate then. He dove into the pool, fully dressed too. When he came up he managed to make sure it was in front of her.

"There is nothing undesirable, unwanted, wrecked, about you." Derek soothed her as he put his hands to her cheeks and held her there. "And there is nothing here that says mess."

"Yes, there is." Penelope said and tried to shake him away. This wasn't helping matters of her heart much.

Derek chuckled a little. "You are insane to deny what you are."

"I'm not denying."

"You are," He argued back gently. "You are a natural beauty. You don't need all the makeup, or the colour. You're beautiful outside because your inside extends out and illuminates it all the more." Derek told her with a heart full of honesty. "You know I don't lie to you, Penelope. You're the last person I would waste those on."

"I am not that, Derek," Penelope told him back, ignorant of his attempt. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to say you believe me." Derek enlightened her and saw her go to object to that statement. "If you won't agree with words, maybe you'll agree with actions."

Penelope went to question him a bit more, but instead Derek kissed her, and the goose bumps she had from freezing in the pool turned into goose bumps brought about by being kissed by the man of her dreams. They were the bumps brought on by the electricity she felt, by the passion that flowed.

In that moment her entire body warmed.

Derek pulled back, he knew she felt the same, the way she had responded to his advance had been nicely met and challenged and all he could do was smile at the results.

"Derek-"

"Shh," He quietened her. "I don't know much about love, but I know I love you. Have loved you and always will love you. There's nothing I don't love, I just want you."

"I can only give you what you have here right now. This is me, for once, this is the real me." Penelope told him, "Without the mask to hide behind."

"Well good," Derek replied, "I like this you, but I'll tell you now. The Penelope that wears colour and accessorises the hell out of her outfits and wears flowers and toy animals and cat ears in her hair is the true you too."

Penelope's shock metre rose. She couldn't lie, that was her.

"I hope you understand that I only thought you had changed recently, there was something more sedate about you, but remember, that whatever happens I will always know the true Penelope Garcia."

Truth was, Penelope was the true Penelope Garcia whenever Derek Morgan was around.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- For Once, This Is Me -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**


End file.
